Dear Alice,
I have a problem with my girlfriend of one year. She feels more than I do
in our relationship and thus has decided that she needs to break off our
relationship. I feel very comfortable with the relationship but I
understand that to be supportive I must do everything I can to make her
happy. I know it's not my responsibility, but as her boyfriend I want her
to be happy regardless. If she tells me to leave, I know I must, but what
do I do about our relationship after that? How do I react to this
situation?
Signed,
Concerned
Dear Concerned,
You seem to be a caring person. But, you can't control
the feelings and reactions of another human being. It sounds like your
girlfriend is afraid of becoming attached to you, without any inkling of
a long-term commitment from you. You can reassure her that you love
her, and that you will want to be with her or in her life. Leaving the
door open allows for the possibility of being able to negotiate your
relationship, rather than the black-and-white scenarios of being totally
in love or breaking up. There are many shades of gray in between, and
Alice encourages you both to try to find the one that fits your
relationship at this time.
- Alice
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