Dear Friend of Cat,

You are in a potentially volatile situation, and also one with an increased potential for intimacy. You and your girlfriend need to make an agreement before she moves in about the chain of potential events concerning your cat, and their consequences. For instance, you could start with the suggestion that you gave Alice, that you'd like to try it with both her and the cat, and that you'll buy an air filter and vacuum the house twice a week. If she agrees, then you need to move on to talking about:

• What if she still has an allergic reaction?
• Would she be willing to go for allergy shots?
• Take antihistamine medication?
• Clean the house herself another two days a week?

There are a variety of solutions, and it's impossible to determine exactly what will work in this situation. What's important is that you both determine that you're willing to try to work as a team to make living together next summer happen. You need to agree in advance that you won't fight about this or build up resentments, and that you will both give it your best shot — and that it will not end your relationship if this cat experiment doesn't work out as hoped for during one summer. In the meantime, try calling your veterinarian and see if s/he has any more tangible suggestions so that you can enter into the dialogue informed. Good luck.

Alice

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