In response to SHOULD I TELL MY PARTNER I WAS RAPED WHEN I WAS A VIRGIN?, I can totally understand how this person is feeling. The same thing happened to me when I was younger. I always felt in my heart that I was still a virgin, too. I am now 19 and have been with my current partner for nearly three years. When we started dating, I never told him about what happened. When I eventually felt comfortable enough to tell him, he was totally understanding. He said that if I felt that I was still a virgin, then I should still count myself as being one. Telling him helped improve our relationship a lot. It explained many of my insecurities that I had. We have been together for three years and he has helped me to come to terms with what happened and to understand that life does go on. If your partner really loves you, then he will also understand and help you through it. The last comment that I shall make is that I know how you are feeling and you must be really scared to tell him, but please do not tell him until you are ready to.

x x

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(2)
Dear Alice,

Hey sweetie... listen to me, ok? if you really like him and if that's the case, then you have to let him know... and rape is something very serious... it's not your fault at all... not in any way! and if he likes you the same way you like him, then he will definitely understand. if not, then forget him... you need someone that can support you from what happened in the past and accept you for who you are. it is fine that in your mind, you are still a virgin and you can let him know that, no matter what... what's done is done, so tell him that he can be your first b.c you WANT to do it with him... so if it's ok with you guys, you can consider him who you lost your virginity to... things will be ok as long as you let him know!

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(3)
Dear Alice,

Fellow friend, I, too, am in your definition a virgin in my heart, because i was also raped when i was younger. I am now 19, and i was raped when i was 12. If you think that you are a Virgin (after being raped), then you are. You didn't give yourself to this other person, right? I am in the process of telling my parents that i have been raped and my boy-friend knows. If your current boy-friend won't support you, then it is up to you to decide to stay together or not. You are as pure as you think you are.

19 and in NY