I am surprised your answer did not include a suggestion to see a gynecologist for an examination before the wedding. A gynecologist can provide advice, birth control info, provide medication to postpone a period if necessary, and see by examination if the hymen's structure might present any unusual discomfort.

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(2)
Alice,

The most helpful advice I received about minimizing pain and maximizing pleasure was about a wonderful product called lube!!! It's a total lifesaver. You can try having sex without it at first but trust me on this one, try it once with lube. It's very, very helpful stuff. Oh yeah, and tell your new hubby to go sloooowwww. Hope all is well on the big night.

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(3)
Alice,

You should also mention how to prepare physically in the weeks up to first intercourse. A visit to the doctor to "cut" a difficult hymen can be a major benefit. Also, to prepare for the stretching that will take place in intercourse, think of it as a physical exercise (it is). Do you go out and run a mile or lift a heavy weight the first time? No, you gradually build up. Exercise the vagina by gradually stretching it with your finger. Place one finger tip gently in partially when you are aroused and lubricated (or use lubrication). Next time, put the finger a little further in. Gradually increase the depth and move the finger around and in and out. Next, try two fingers, gradually. Or, have your partner do these steps. Gradual is the key, like any exercise. Good luck.

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(4)

To the reader,

My boyfriend and I were also each others first time and even though it was a little uncomfortable at first, we both were excited. Try to remember that it's not going to be what it's like in the movies and be ready for awkward moments that you can laugh at together later on. We have found that polyeurathane condoms are more comfortable and that missionary isn't the most comfortable position for a first time. Though it sounds contrary to tradition, if you are on top you can control the speed and depth of the initial penetration, plus guys love it when their women are on top, at least in my experience.