Well, I'm a 29-year-old-guy and my last girlfriend, a woman I really loved, couldn't reach orgasm through sexual intercourse. The first thing that's important for a guy like me is for the woman to be honest about this, not to try to fake or anything. My girlfriend did tell me, and it was just the beginning of a great adventure, trying to find her pleasure spot with my fingers, tongue, etc. (well, not much in the etc. part!). With fun and patience, I was able to make her orgasm without intercourse, and she had her first orgasm in her life with someone since it was the first time she actually told a guy about this. I'm a guy who really likes oral sex as much or if not more than intercourse, so we both found a way to really enjoy ourselves (and she still enjoyed intercourse for the closeness).

So please be honest with your boyfriend, and if he really loves you, he will find the time to pleasure you any possible way.

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(2)
Dear Alice,

May I respectfully suggest that the couple lay on their sides? The woman raises one leg and the man takes a rear entry position. While he still inserts the penis to his full extent, he can then stimulate the clitoris with the finger, or fingers, using a lube if so desired. The fact of the inserted penis helps reinforce the feel of it on vaginal walls, as the clitoris is giving off the wonderful sensations it is capable of under stimulus. With timing and practice, eventually she will achieve what she desires.

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(3)
Alice,

Exactly! I think I get so overwhelmed and don't relax... don't get my mind into what I am feeling. I need a long foreplay time where I can feel free to just concentrate on my feelings instead of trying to "act" pleased and passionate. I seem to feel it at every other point except at the most crucial point. I am now trying to get my partner to do just what I do when I masturbate... it requires a lot of concentration... it doesn't just happen, especially in a long-term relationship. Those first thrilling passionate moments don't come automatically any more. For me an ideal situation is when my lover GENTLY strokes me all over... barely touching my clitoris, in a teasing way, making me beg to be touched at those spots that excite me most... I prefer to have an orgasm that way, then have penetration while I am still swollen for his pleasure.

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(4)

Dear Alice,

Omg, I'm not alone. I'm in tears. I never knew there were others who couldn't feel any sensation other than the presence of the penis. I'd heard of the arousal disorder for women, but nothing like I'd experienced, I never saw a name given to it or it addressed. That's what made me feel alone. My doctors can't tell me why. I have a lot of health problems now, at 27, but I didn't when I lost my virginity and had sex earlier in life. Thank you so very much for letting me know I'm not alone at all. It means everything to not feel so isolated and ashamed.