Dear Lonely and Depressed

There is a beautiful website called "Mom's Halo." There you can write a memorial free of charge and post it; you can chat with people that have lost a mom. It is all ages, all types of diseases that have taken their moms. One woman was your age that just lost her mom. Try it, I am a regular.

(dragonfly) JIll

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Dear Alice,

Dear Lonely and Depressed,

I know how you feel. I am in 8th grade and my dad died like 2 months before I went to 6th grade. I felt like I was on my own to figure things out. I tried to relate to my cousins because their dad died a yr. before mine. It didn't work. I always feel like talking about my dad is hard. I always talk about him like he is alive. I know he is dead, but I hate knowing he won't be able to walk me down when I get married. I did feel like I was on my own for a long time and still sorta do. I like to talk to my mom a lot because her dad died when she was 6, even though they weren't close, she still had to deal with it. I miss my dad and think about him a lot. But I know that he wouldn't want me to be depressed. He would want me to be happy and be successful.

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Dear Lonely and Depressed,

My dad died 18 months ago by committing suicide. I also feel like you. I can't talk to anyone, but I found it helps if I write about the way I feel. I'm not sure it'll help you... everyone deals with these things differently.

I hope it does help you.

— xxconfusedxx

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To the reader:

I hope this is of some help to you. I am in my twenties and my father died a year ago. I can only describe what I went through in the hope that it offers some kind of comfort. My father died a slow death from pancreatic cancer. I can't begin to expain how I grieved for him. I came from a patriachal family from NW Ireland and my father was the centre of our family. I worked as an economist in London. After returning to work, I felt as if I was going mad — the cruelty of what had happened to my father fuelled my rage for months afterward. I found it difficult to cope with work, friends, my partner.

It was only after several months and some counseling that I could look back on my father's passing with any clarity. Now, I talk about how he was when was alive. I talk with my siblings about stories of when we were children and I can think of him without being blinded of the cruelty of the disease that ended his life. I hope you can someday reach this point.