Dear Alice,

To Supporting a loved one after drug rehab:

Alice's answers were spot-on, and I believe it's worthwhile to highlight a few of her comments as well as introduce a few more. You were probably witness to quite a bit of wreckage being so close with your significant other (SO). In fact, you might even harbor some resentment against your SO (or vice versa) for what might have happened before he/she left for treatment. Part of the healing process and recovery is completing a moral inventory and coming to terms with those issues (guilt, resentment, remorse, insecurity, etc.). Your SO may or may not want you to come along to 12-step meetings (without having a problem, you may not be allowed to some), but you should really at least TRY an Al-Anon meeting for your own sake to help you "narrow the gap" between yourself (not an addict or alcoholic) and your SO (having admitted powerlessness over drugs and/or alcohol). Recovery is a long-term process, and early recovery can be especially rocky. But it was exactly what your SO needed and he/she is very close to turning life around. Truly, your SO needs to choose sobriety on his/her own and then take the necessary steps to live a most beautiful life. That can be hard in school, so just stay strong and everything will turn out well.