Dear Alice,

This "I orgasm, and then I can't breathe" problem also happens regularly to me, but only when I have really intense (usually self-induced) orgasms. Fortunately, I'm not panic-stricken.

I have only begun to notice this in the last few years of my life (I'm a 38 year old woman). The first time, I was both ecstatic and a little scared. It didn't feel like my throat closed — more like I had the wind knocked out of me, and I could neither exhale nor inhale. I would go for what felt like a very long time without breathing, and then something inside me would "kick in," and I would gasp for air. Then, I wouldn't breathe again until that something "kicked in" again, and I took another gasping breath. It went away within a couple of minutes.

This does not happen when I orgasm with my boyfriend, but my orgasms are less intense with him than when I am masturbating.

I have wondered if this is some kind of vagal response brought about by orgasm. Although I have searched the Internet, I haven't been able to find anything about it.

Since it goes away within a couple of minutes (although they seem much longer), and I don't lose consciousness, I figured it is probably harmless. I'm just a little confused as to why I never had "la petite mort" until the last couple of years, while I have been having orgasms since I was about 13.